Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I see through liars

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Samsung Is Poised to Unveil Latest Folding Smartphones on July 9 - Bloomberg

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What is the difference between using a brush for air drying and blow drying?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

What explanations do flat earthers have for the shape of our planet? If they do not have any, why should their opinions on this topic be considered credible?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What happened to everybody's thick skin? It used to be that people really didn't get offended, now however, everybody gets offended by the least little thing.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can count

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Plane from Indianapolis diverted to Tulsa due to weather ahead of NBA Finals Game 1 - KOKH

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I actually pay taxes

Do you believe that it is right that one Federal judge can block a President's decisions?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why is my ex trying to provoke an argument with me?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read